November 8, 2012
Some people have an imaginary friend.
Mine happens to be a chicken.
(I can FEEL the judgy way you’re looking at me.
It’s not nice to judge a person by their chicken.)
It was an ordinary family dinner.
I don’t know how it all could have gone so horribly wrong.
The evening’s menu included mac n’ cheese, corn, sliced apples, a choice of milk or juice, and hot dogs.
I swore I’d never be a “dog blogger” so I promise this post is NOT about dogs.
It’s about sex.
Sex and dogs, actually.
No, sex and A dog.
So, something interesting happened today that reminded me of something, which reminded me of a story, which reminded me of something else, which was something I wanted to share on unfunnyme because it’s oh-so-so-so TMI.
And then I remembered something else…
Saturday, March 19th, 2011
The following took place between 8:00 AM and 3:50 PM
Some good friends of mine will be celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary this weekend. I woke up today thinking that this is an amazing accomplishment. Why?
Advertising for the weird, whack, or wonderful.
Boring products need not apply.
I’m worried about my Facebook. I think it may have bipolar disorder.
I first started noticing some erratic behavior about a month ago, and then things got really strange. Here’s what happened:
If your delicate sensibilities are offended by the use of the word ‘ass’ or the words ‘ass’ and ‘hole’ strung together in such a manner as to be deemed swearing, I urge you to close this page now without reading any further.
In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ve decided to give all of you the gift of NOT writing about Valentine’s Day.
Nor will I bore you with my thoughts on love, romance, candle-lit dinners, or any other mushy-gushy, touchy-feely, ridiculous notions……….Why?
There’s nothing worse than a long, drawn out bunch of snivel in a confession – so I’ll keep this short.
I lied. I misrepresented myself. I misspoke.
I said that I have always been unfunny.
Technically speaking, this statement is untrue.
unfunnyme.com has been up and running for three days now.
You know what that means?
It means that the four people reading it know me personally.
Mostly they read it under duress.
All my life people have been telling me I’m not funny.
And when I say “people” I am referring to:
family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, total strangers,