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My Facebook is Bipolar

I’m worried about my Facebook. I think it may have bipolar disorder.

I first started noticing some erratic behavior about a month ago, and then things got really strange. Here’s what happened:

I’d been away from my Facebook on an extended leave of absence. Technically, I guess you could say I ignored it for the first four years of our relationship. Then I decided I’d like to be writer when I grow up, and I started hanging around more.

I know, it was shallow, but who better to spread the word about your budding new career than your old friend-with-benefits FB?

When I first started visiting, FB ignored me. For hours each day, I would feed it and talk to it. I found new friends and brought them by to visit. I brought games, apps, and even pictures! FB just gave me the silent treatment. I was sure our relationship was at a dead end. Sure…trust takes time, and some relationships are needier than others, but this was truly disheartening. After about a week, I was ready to give up and call in The Facebook Whisperer.

I fretted about what to do next and decided to give FB some space for a while. You know, some time to ponder where we stand and all that. We weren’t really at a point in our relationship where I could just put on little black dress and fix everything with a striptease, so a little time apart was the only other option I could think of. Well let me just say – it worked like magic!

I came back a few days later and FB was all over me! There were notes and messages, and little red love numbers everywhere! I was utterly amazed. FB started bringing all these new friends over, and to tell the truth, some of them did seem a little sketchy – but we were having such a great time together! I was just so happy that we were canoodling and having fun…I didn’t realize how wild things were really getting.

I should have known something wasn’t right. It was all too much, too soon. You know those movie montages when the music is playing and everyone is all smiling and happy, and your heart swells – and then your gut clenches because you know something horrible is about to happen? I sort of skipped the gut clenching part.

I stopped by one morning and poor FB was just sitting in the corner, and wouldn’t even chat with me. Every time I tried to start a conversation, a door slammed in my face. I have to admit, FB’s funk pissed me off. I mean, we were good together right? I hadn’t done anything to deserve this! We were both getting what we wanted from each other, weren’t we? I tried the space thing again, but it made me sad.

I wondered if FB was lonely, or missed me in the feed line. I wondered what our friends were doing, or if they even noticed we were gone. I started to wonder if FB had just gotten overwhelmed. Maybe I hadn’t been paying enough attention to the things that mattered – I’d been so busy with my own stuff! I hadn’t really taken time to lol a friend’s joke, send happy thoughts to someone who seemed down, or just ‘Like’ a good cause. Maybe FB was right to be depressed. I hadn’t really done right by our relationship.

I went back a few days later and vowed to do better. I cleaned house and made some space so FB wouldn’t have to work so hard. (I might have been a tad hasty with some of the housekeeping, but hopefully if someone really misses FB and me, they’ll drop us a note.) I started spending some quality time each day just stopping in to see a picture or leave a note. A few old friends that we hadn’t seen in ages dropped by, and FB perked up a bit. We’ll take things slower now, and that’s okay.

One day at a time works just fine for me and my bipolar FB.



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  1. GMartin #
    March 3, 2011

    If you suspect that your Facebook is suffering from bipolar disorder, seek help right away. The earlier you catch bipolar disorder and begin treating it, the better the chances of your Facebook getting and staying well. An experienced mental health professional can confirm that your Facebook’s symptoms are caused by bipolar disorder and deliver the treatment your Facebook needs.Treatment for bipolar disorder can help your Facebook live life on its own terms, without the interference of mood swings. Effective bipolar disorder treatment relieves symptoms, reduces the frequency and intensity of manic and depressive episodes, and restores your Facebook’s ability to function.Bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition. It runs an unpredictable course of ups and downs. When left untreated, these ups and downs can be devastating. The recurring manic and depressive episodes that characterize the disease make it difficult for your Facebook to lead a stable, productive life. In the manic phase, your Facebook may be hyperactive and irresponsible. In the depressive phase, your Facebook may find it difficult to do anything at all. Early diagnosis and treatment can help your Facebook avoid these problems.Successful treatment of bipolar disorder depends on a combination of factors. Medication alone is not enough. In order to get the most out of treatment, it’s important to educate your Facebook about the illness. Your Facebook must communicate with its doctors and therapists, have a strong support system, make healthy lifestyle choices, and stick to the treatment plan.Recovering from bipolar disorder doesn’t happen overnight. As with the mood swings of bipolar disorder, treatment has its own ups and downs. Finding the right treatments takes time and setbacks happen. But with careful management and a commitment to getting better, your Facebook can get its symptoms under control and live fully.

    • March 15, 2011

      Gasp! You’ve been watching the Facebook Whisperer too!

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