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Posts tagged ‘life’

Undiagnosed – An Open Letter to the Man Who Saved My Life

April 12, 2017


Dear Bryan,

You may not realize this, but it’s been two and half years since you saved my life with a single phone call.

In June of 2012 I began experiencing episodes of shortness of breath, difficulty swallowing, and severe reflux. I also started having “attacks” in the middle of the night in which I would wake up feeling like my body was on fire, choking and gasping for breath with my heart pounding and my bowels contracting. Every time it happened I would reach over and touch my husband and whisper goodbye because I was sure I was about to die.
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Holy Reflux! The Doctor Stretched My Esophagus

An Unfunny Original

And now I can sing like Adele.
I’m serious, you guys.
I sound EXACTLY like her.

Remember when I was calmly sitting on the couch enjoying some scrumptious chocolate chip cookies – and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was having a panic attack?
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Great Big Whopping Fish Story

An Unfunny Original

Last weekend, my cousin and his band Flow Tribe were up from New Orleans on tour.

Somehow this visit resulted in my cousin and teenage son dragging me out to “experience nature” (which translates to “fishing” on the Louisiana side of my family) and I discovered, Read more

The Hot Dog and the Bun

An Unfunny Original

It was an ordinary family dinner.

I don’t know how it all could have gone so horribly wrong.

The evening’s menu included mac n’ cheese, corn, sliced apples, a choice of milk or juice, and hot dogs.
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Save Energy…Don’t Smile

An Unfunny Original

Some good friends of mine will be celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary this weekend. I woke up today thinking that this is an amazing accomplishment. Why?

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My Facebook is Bipolar

An Unfunny Original

I’m worried about my Facebook. I think it may have bipolar disorder.

I first started noticing some erratic behavior about a month ago, and then things got really strange. Here’s what happened:
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To boob…or not to boob?

An Unfunny Original

To boob, or not to boob?
That is the question.

For years, OtherMe has been hounding me to get a boob job.

I promised I would make a final decision by the time I turned forty.
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Okay Okay I Lied…Sue Me

An Unfunny Original

There’s nothing worse than a long, drawn out bunch of snivel in a confession – so I’ll keep this short.

I lied. I misrepresented myself. I misspoke.

I said that I have always been unfunny.
Technically speaking, this statement is untrue.
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This is me…and I’m not funny

An Unfunny Original

All my life people have been telling me I’m not funny.

And when I say “people” I am referring to:

family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, total strangers,
and bellhops.
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