Posts tagged ‘life’
Dear Bryan,
You may not realize this, but it’s been two and half years since you saved my life with a single phone call.
In June of 2012 I began experiencing episodes of shortness of breath, difficulty swallowing, and severe reflux. I also started having “attacks” in the middle of the night in which I would wake up feeling like my body was on fire, choking and gasping for breath with my heart pounding and my bowels contracting. Every time it happened I would reach over and touch my husband and whisper goodbye because I was sure I was about to die.
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And now I can sing like Adele.
I’m serious, you guys.
I sound EXACTLY like her.
Remember when I was calmly sitting on the couch enjoying some scrumptious chocolate chip cookies – and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe and I thought I was having a panic attack?
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Last weekend, my cousin and his band Flow Tribe were up from New Orleans on tour.
Somehow this visit resulted in my cousin and teenage son dragging me out to “experience nature” (which translates to “fishing” on the Louisiana side of my family) and I discovered, Read more
It was an ordinary family dinner.
I don’t know how it all could have gone so horribly wrong.
The evening’s menu included mac n’ cheese, corn, sliced apples, a choice of milk or juice, and hot dogs.
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Some good friends of mine will be celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary this weekend. I woke up today thinking that this is an amazing accomplishment. Why?
Because,
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I’m worried about my Facebook. I think it may have bipolar disorder.
I first started noticing some erratic behavior about a month ago, and then things got really strange. Here’s what happened:
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There’s nothing worse than a long, drawn out bunch of snivel in a confession – so I’ll keep this short.
I lied. I misrepresented myself. I misspoke.
I said that I have always been unfunny.
Technically speaking, this statement is untrue.
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All my life people have been telling me I’m not funny.
And when I say “people” I am referring to:
family, friends, acquaintances, enemies, total strangers,
and bellhops.
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unfunnyme™ 